


Take It Back

by clh_372



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, Family, Found Family, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Light Angst, Sibling Bonding, Siblings, apology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25064212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clh_372/pseuds/clh_372
Summary: Katara and Zuko have returned from their field trip, and she's finally managed to find something like peace.  But when she is reminded of what she said to Sokka before she left, she realizes that she, too, has some amends to make.Or, Katara deals with the ramifications of some very hurtful words.
Relationships: Katara & Sokka (Avatar), Katara & Suki (Avatar), Katara & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 221





	Take It Back

**Author's Note:**

> post Southern Raiders

From the moment Zuko told her that he could help find her mother’s killer, Katara had been swept up in thoughts of revenge. Years of sorrow had swelled into wrath, and knowing she might be able to find the man responsible for her mother’s death had broken the dam inside her. Her rage needed an outlet, and she had been so eager to punish. 

Though Katara hadn’t been certain what she would do when she found the man, her imagination conjured up countless possibilities. Drowning waves, piercing ice - she could even make him punish himself for the evil act, bending his blood to her will. He would regret what he’d done when he fell on his own sword. 

They were dark thoughts, ones she’d never known she was capable of.

As she looked up at the house where her friends were settling in for the night, hearing the faint echoes of their chatter floating down to where she stood, Katara shuddered at her own imagination. Aang had been right after all. She thought of how it felt to want to hurt the man so badly - to do more than just hurt him - and knew she never wanted to feel that way again.

 _Maybe that’s how it had been for Zuko,_ she wondered. All that time he’d been chasing them, maybe he’d felt just like that - consumed by pain and rage, determined to capture them so that he could fix it. No wonder he had wanted to find a new way to fuel his firebending.

Katara’s contemplation was interrupted by a yawn that seemed to split her face wide open. It really had been a long night. Time for bed.

She finished her walk up to the house and let herself inside. Toph was already asleep - she’d flopped onto the first couch she came across and was snoring quietly, limbs dangling over the edge. Katara smiled and covered the young earthbender with a blanket.

Footsteps sounded from down one of the hallways, and Katara peeked around the corner. She saw Sokka, scratching the back of his neck and yawning loudly as he opened one of the bedroom doors.

“Sokka!”

He started a bit and looked up at her briefly. “Oh. Hey.” He turned away.

“Sokka listen, I found him! I - “

“Yeah, great. Good for you. See you in the morning.” Katara drew up short, staring at him. He shut the door without another word.

“Well, that was rude,” she muttered to herself.

A huff sounded behind her, and Katara quickly turned. Suki was watching her, arms crossed across her chest

“Oh. Hi Suki.” The warrior did not answer, only continued to stare. Katara fidgeted. “So, what’s his problem?” she half-whispered, not wanting to wake Toph, as she gestured at Sokka’s room.

“Are you kidding me?” Suki narrowed her eyes, an uncharacteristically unfriendly look on her face. “He’s upset. I don’t blame him.”

“Upset?” Katara scoffed. “Why would he be upset? He’s my brother, I’d know if he was upset.”

“Oh, really?” Suki sneered. “Then maybe you don’t _love him_ like I do.” Her tone was pointed and cold, and it washed over Katara like an icy wave. Suki pushed past the waterbender and slipped into Sokka’s room, leaving her standing speechless in the hallway.

Oh.

Those had been her words to Sokka, as she left to hunt down her mother’s killer. He tried to stop her and that’s what she’d said.

Oh no. 

Katara’s hands rose, and she covered her mouth in horror. Too late - the words were long since out, and she hadn’t even realized how terrible they were until just this moment. How could she have said such a thing? Her eyes pricked with tears, and she turned and fled from the house.

She passed Aang as she crossed the threshold. He looked troubled, but she barely noticed. “Hey, Katara! Where are you going?” he called after her, but it only made her run faster.

The moon rippled across the waves as Katara splashed through the surf. Its light, normally so comforting, seemed to judge her as she ran. 

Katara didn’t stop until she was long out of sight of the house. Finally she drew up next to a massive boulder, its base covered with barnacles and still wet from the receded tide. She leaned her forehead against it, clenching her fists. The image of Sokka’s stricken face rose in her mind. “How could I be so stupid!” she yelled against the stone. With another shout she spun and struck out towards the waves, sending a spray of ice jabbing across the sand and into the surf. Another strike, another icy lance. She swept her hands across the horizon, freezing an entire swath of water, then pushed forward, sending it all shattering into thousands of glittering pieces, spinning out to sea.

“Um…hi.”

Katara spun with a gasp. Zuko was sitting on top of the boulder, staring down at her, his good eye wide and hesitant.

“What are you doing here?” she shouted.

Zuko flinched. “I was just - I needed somewhere to think. I can leave,” he added hastily, already climbing to his feet.

Katara put her face in her hand. “No, I’m sorry, you don’t have to go.” 

The firebender had already jumped down onto the beach; now he shuffled his feet in the sand. “Does that mean you want me to stay, or…?”

“Do whatever you want, I don’t care!” Katara snapped. She spun away from him, retreated above the tide line, and sat down with a huff. After a moment, she heard Zuko settling down as well. She glanced over at him. He was sitting a few feet away, watching the waves rise and fall.

Neither of them spoke for several minutes, both lost in their own thoughts. Finally Katara muttered, “I can’t believe I said that to him.”

Zuko glanced at her. “Said what to who?”

“To Sokka. About Mom.” Katara swallowed. “About loving her more than he did.”

He continued to stare at her, brow slightly furrowed. “What about it?”

“What about it? What do you mean, what about it?” Katara rounded on Zuko, who was staring at her, clearly taken aback. “It was a terrible thing to say! It was mean, and hurtful, and…” She turned away, voice failing as her anger drained away. Sokka’s eyes, wide and hurt, flashed before her again. She hadn’t even noticed it at the time, but now… Katara buried her face in her hands, tears flowing freely. “How could I say something so cruel?”

“Oh.” Zuko’s voice was quiet, and Katara made no reply. Hesitantly, he continued, “I thought that was just the kind of thing siblings said to each other.”

She flashed him a startled look. “No,” she replied. “Not good siblings.”

“That explains it,” he said. Seeing her confused expression, Zuko added, “Azula’s said much worse to me.” He sounded like he was trying to be reassuring.

 _Great, now I’m being compared to Azula._ Katara made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “That’s not exactly a high bar to cross.”

“I suppose not,” Zuko said, eyes downcast. In a small voice, he added, “I’ve said much worse too. To Uncle.”

Katara sighed and hugged her knees to her chest. “I wish I could take it back.”

“You can’t. You’ll never be able to take it back.”

Katara whirled on him, eyes wide with hurt and an angry retort on her tongue. But Zuko wasn’t looking at her. He was staring across the water, his expression shuttered with regret.

Finally he looked over at her. “But he’s here. You have to tell him how sorry you are. That’s the only thing you can do.”

A lump formed in her throat and she turned away. “What if he doesn’t forgive me?”

Zuko shrugged. “At least he’ll know.” Then he fell silent and looked forward again, out across the sea. Katara almost wanted to say something more, but the firebender’s fingers were clutching his knees, and his expression had closed off completely. Katara sighed and turned away.

How strange it was, she reflected, to be taking advice from Fire Lord’s son, someone who had chased them across the globe for months, someone who she had only just been able to forgive. But she knew he was right. She had to apologize to Sokka, and he deserved to hear it sooner rather than later.

Katara took a deep, steadying breath before rising to her feet. She brushed the sand off her skirts, and then turned back to the beach house. But after a few steps, she stopped again. “Thanks,” she said. “For your advice.”

“Oh.” Her words seemed to have startled Zuko out of his brooding. “…No problem.” He barely glanced at her, but his expression seemed a little lighter.

It took longer for Katara to return to the house. She walked slowly this time, turning words over and over in her head. What would she say to him? How could she explain why said what she did, how hurt and angry she had been, deaf to any voice but the one inside that demanded justice?

None of that mattered, though. There was no excuse for those words.

She thought back to what she had said to Aang, when they’d found her on the dock. _I’ll never forgive him,_ she’d said. What if Sokka thought that about her? Tears welled in her eyes, and she rubbed them away.

Her feet paused when she stepped into the quiet house, and she hesitated again when she reached the hallway. _He’s probably not even awake_ , Katara thought, anxiety fluttering in her chest. But there was a light on in his room still. 

Katara stood in front of the door. Her tongue felt dry and heavy in her mouth, and her hands shook. Still, she took a few deep breaths and knocked.

It was Suki who opened the door. Sokka was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, looking weary. He looked up at her, and Katara could not hold his gaze.

“What is it?” Suki asked. Her voice was quiet - Katara guessed that Aang had gone to sleep by now - but it was sharp all the same.

“I was - um, Sokka, can I talk to you for a minute?” She finally looked up at him, and this time managed to meet his eyes.

After a moment he said, “Yeah, sure.” Suki gave him a small smile before holding the door open for Katara. Once the waterbender was inside, the warrior stepped out, closing the door behind her and leaving the siblings alone in the room.

“What do you want, jerkbender?” Sokka asked Katara, not unkindly. He was using his big brother voice, she realized, and her heart clenched.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry for what I said on the beach,” she said. “About Mom. I know it’s not true. I was so upset, but that’s no excuse. I’m just…I’m sorry.” She stared at the ground in front of him, not wanting him to see her start to cry again.

After a moment, Sokka heaved a sigh. “I know you didn’t,” he said. “It’s okay.”

“But it’s not okay!” Katara finally met his eyes, and she was surprised to see his eyes were shining as well. “I should never have said something so awful!”

“Well, yeah,” Sokka shrugged. “But everyone’s a jerk sometimes, right?” He smiled at her and patted the floor next to him.

Katara gave a small, watery laugh at that, and slid down the wall beside her brother. He put an arm around her and pulled her close. 

“You know, just because I don’t talk about her doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt,” he said quietly. “It hurts every day.” Katara was surprised - Sokka rarely ever talked about his feelings, and never admitted to them being hurt.

“Of course, Sokka, I know that, I - “

“It’s just - “ he interrupted, swallowing hard. “Especially after Dad went, someone had to hold everything together. That’s my job. To hold it together.”

The image of her brother in war paint, trudging back to the village after their dad and the rest of the warriors left, leapt to her mind. It was followed by a succession of other images: the canoe he had packed after Aang turned himself in, Bato giving him the mark of the wise, the red lines he’d received after volunteering for the Northern Water Tribe’s mission. All the ways he’d fought to protect them, provide for them, cheer them up when they were down. Katara remembered so many things at once, and could not find the words to express any of them. The only thing she managed to get past the lump in her throat was, ‘You do a great job.”

Sokka glanced down at her and smiled. “Thanks, Katara.” He hugged her tighter for a moment, then dug his elbow into her side. “Now get out of here, I need my beauty sleep.” 

“Okay, okay!” Katara exclaimed, feigning indignance. She padded to the door, but paused before leaving. She wasn’t used to having this kind of heart to heart with her brother, and she had the feeling he preferred it that way, but she wanted him to understand how much she appreciated him. Finally she just looked back at him and said, “Thanks for everything, big brother.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, shooing her away. But she saw him smile as she closed the door behind her.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't write a lot of fanfic but I'm obsessed with Avatar at the moment and I have a lot of thoughts.
> 
> One of which was the idea for this fic (my first in the fandom) which essentially is my way of holding Katara accountable for what she said to Sokka in the Southern Raiders episode. It's not the first time she's said something hurtful and not realized it (thinking of that time with Aang and the waterbending scroll) and though her anger is completely reasonable, it's hard to watch her lash out at the people who love her when they really don't deserve it. I dunno, that moment really just made me sad and I wanted to see it made better for everyone.
> 
> Also Sokka appreciation moment because he deserves it.
> 
> Also also - I hope it's clear that Suki said the words back to Katara as a way of pointedly reminding her of why Sokka was upset, and not because she actually believes it at all.


End file.
